Monday, February 28, 2011

And the Oscar goes to...

Award shows are not my favorite thing to watch because I have no frame of reference to adequately judge the skill and talent that is being awarded during most of these shows.

I like cheesy romantic comedies that require little to no thought and are available for entertainment purposes only. Most of the movies I like, my husband starts to make jokes about three quarters of the way through, which then makes me mad and wrecks the movie I was simply trying to enjoy. I watch movies as a means of escape for ninety minutes.

I am a terrible judge of good music or musical talent. Which, ironically, I am surrounded by extremely talented vocalist. I try hopelessly to stay in step with their musical conversations (which if you are now imagining them speaking in musical verse, that sometimes happens too). You'd think some of their expertise would eventually rub off. A few months back, a buddy of mine was putting together an album and was sending song clips to my husband for feedback. The songs I thought sounded just fine were a bit off pitch and too rushed. When I felt like a finally heard the errors in a song that they had been talking about, my untrained ear showed itself as a novice. The song was in perfect pitch and was a favorite to be included the album.  All I really look for in a song is a fun beat without any overt lyrics about what men and women should do only in private. (Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" is an exception. I can still rap every word!)  I listen to music that fits and enhances my mood.

I'm sure that I am the only one to have ever grabbed a Mrs. Butterworth's syrup bottle to practice their acceptance speech, I will share a few of the categories I have awarded myself the winner.

1. Best Imitation of a Pack Horse for carrying five grocery bags, a purse, a baby carrier with 15lb baby, while holding a two year old's hand to the second floor.
2. Best Emotional Outburst while Driving for yelling at every red light I caught and the slow car ahead of me while running late.
3. Best Bad Hair Days for having thick unruly curls that sometimes work the way I want, but most of the time just ends up big and bad.
4. Best New Author of the Year** for my incredibly insightful and life changing book.

I would love to hear some of your categories you have awarded yourself.

**This award has yet to be realized.

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